Living with Howl
by wolfman5
Summary: Based on the book. SxH. Rated M for later chapters. Sophie knows that Howl loves her, but can she make herself trust him with her heart? Howl must prove that he's changed.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Howl's Moving Castle. Diana Wynne Jones does.

Living with Howl

Chapter 1

Sophie rolled and heaved a frustrated sigh. She stared at the bottom of the stairs that stretched over her small cubby where she slept. She had agreed to live with Howl after she had seen how much he loved her, but, in spite of his pleading and prodding, she had refused to move from the small space that had been her bed for so long. She wasn't ready. It was improper for her to sleep in Howl's room and, if she was being honest, she was still terrified to give herself completely to him. She had waved away Lettie's warnings when she had told Sophie that Howl couldn't be trusted. "He's too fickle Sophie," Lettie had told her. "He may say he loves you, but what's to stop him from leaving. You'll only get hurt in the end." Sophie rolled onto her side. Though she firmly stuck to the sleeping arrangements, she couldn't keep her thoughts from roaming upstairs to the sleeping wizard's room. She couldn't help but think about how it would feel to sleep curled up next to Howl; how his body would feel against hers. She shut her eyes. At first she had tried to push these thoughts aside, but she found it nearly impossible to stop her mind enough to fall asleep. It was like trying not to think about something you had been instructed not to think about. So instead, she let her mind wander up to Howl's room and let her fantasies play out until her mind was exhausted and she could finally fall asleep.

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Howl crept quietly down the stairs and sat down in front of Calcifer. He looked for a long time at the cubby where Sophie slept. "I don't know what to do Calcifer."

The fire demon stirred and stared at Howl. "About what?"

"Sophie still doesn't trust me."

"Can you blame her?" Howl glared at Calcifer.

"I can't stop thinking about her. It's driving me nuts. I haven't slept well since she agreed to live with me."

"If it makes you feel any better, I don't think Sophie has been sleeping well either. She talks a lot in her sleep." Howl brightened at this. If Sophie was as miserable as he was with the sleeping arrangements, it was only a matter of time until a change was made.

A wide grin spread across his face. "I'll need hot water in the bath, Calcifer."

"It's too early," Calcifer complained.

"I can't sleep now. I'm already awake. Anyways, I'm meant to be at the castle early to see the king." Groaning Calcifer drew himself up and watched Howl disappear into the bathroom. Sometimes it was hard for Calcifer to remember why he had come back to live with Howl.

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Sophie woke up when Michael came downstairs. She sat up. "Howl?"

"He left early after waking me and making me run hot water for his bath," Calcifer grumbled.

Sophie pouted a little. "He left?"

"He said he had to be at the palace early." Sophie got up out of bed.

"Good morning Michael."

"Morning Sophie." Sophie pulled her hair back and got a pan down.

"Are you hungry Michael?"

"Starving." Sophie grabbed some bacon and eggs and made her way over to Calcifer.

"No way," Calcifer shrank back.

"Calcifer please." Sophie looked at him pleadingly. A low growl escaped from Calcifer, but he bent his head down and allowed Sophie to put the pan down. "Do you think Howl will be back soon?"

Calcifer didn't answer, but Michael looked up from the spell he was working on. "He should probably be back soon if he left early. He doesn't like to linger around the palace." Then, as if summoned, the door opened red down and Howl came in looking splendid in his blue and silver suit.

"Good morning!" He gently pushed Sophie aside and took her place at the stove.

"You're awfully chipper this morning."

"I had a great night's sleep," Howl lied. He reached an arm out and wrapped it around Sophie. He pulled her in close and kissed her. Sophie blushed and pulled away when Michael cleared his throat. "How is that spell coming Michael?"

"It's going pretty well, I think. I am having a bit of trouble with this middle bit." Howl handed the pan back to Sophie and went over to the work bench. Sophie watched them discuss the spell as she finished breakfast. She brought the pan over to the table and slid the food onto the plates.

"None for me," Howl said, holding up his hand. "The king gave me a project. I imagine I'll be out back working all day." He patted Michael's shoulder and stood. He made his way to the back door. "Oh and Sophie dear, if you get the notion to clean the place, please do stay out of the bathroom and my bedroom and try not to mess things up too much," he teased her. He kissed her cheek and swept out into the back yard. Sophie huffed and picked up her basket.

"Michael, I'm going to go gather flowers for the day."

"Aren't you going to have breakfast?"

"I'm not really hungry anymore." She went to the door and turned the knob to purple down. She opened the door and made her way out into the garden to gather flowers to sell in the shop.

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Around supper time Howl came back in. "Did you finish your project?" Sophie said looking up from her mending. Howl sank down into one of the kitchen chairs.

"Nearly. I should have it finished tomorrow."

"I made supper if you want some." Howl nodded and Sophie handed him a plate. She sat down across from him and watched him eat.

"Aren't you going to eat?"

"I already had supper with Michael."

Howl looked around. "Where is Michael?"

"He went to spend the evening with Martha."

"So," Howl said, "we're alone."

"Yes I suppose we are." Howl smiled and finished his supper. He dumped his plate in the sink and headed into the bathroom. Sophie went to the sink and worked on scrubbing the dishes. She knew what Howl wanted. He was glad that Michael was away for the evening. Maybe tonight could be the night. Sophie had really forgotten what she was waiting for. She finished the dishes and went back to sit in front of the fire. She thought of where the evening could take her and Howl. Suddenly she remembered why she and Howl were still sleeping separately. She shuddered. She still didn't fully trust Howl not to break her heart. She wasn't ready to give herself to him completely. The more she gave, she knew, the more he could hurt her when he decided he was bored.

"Don't give in Sophie," Calcifer hissed, "You know how he is."

By the time Howl came out of the bathroom, Sophie had talked herself out of accompanying Howl upstairs. Howl stretched and yawned. "I think I'm going to go ahead and turn in." He leaned in and kissed her softly. He moved his lips so he could whisper in her ear. "You know you're welcome to join me."

Sophie gulped. It was tempting when he was so close to her. All of the reasons why she shouldn't almost flew out of her head, but she shook it off. "Howl I shouldn't." He stepped back and looked at her sadly.

"Sophie I'm afraid we are once again at an impasse." He kissed her cheek then, with one more sad look back, made his way up to his room. Sophie crawled into her bed and curled up. Once again her mind began to wander up the stairs to Howl's room. She sighed and settled in for another restless night.


	2. Chapter 2

Living with Howl

Chapter 2:

Sophie woke up early and headed out to the market to replenish the empty pantry. Howl came down shortly after the door closed behind her. He looked for her under the stairs. "Sophie?"

"She went out. The pantry ran out of food again." Calcifer answered.

Howl sighed. "Calcifer, I don't know what more I can do."

"About what?"

"Sophie. I don't know what more I can do to get her to trust me."

"It is a challenge. She knew you before you had your heart. Maybe Sophie's looking for some kind of a permanent commitment from you before she'll give herself over to you." Howl furrowed his eyebrows.

"Like what?"

"Are you really that slow Howl? Sophie wants you to vow to be hers forever."

Howl thought about this. "You mean…like a wedding? I have to marry Sophie before she'll trust me?"

"It's a good start."

"Thank you, Calcifer." Howl stood. "I have to go. I'll probably be gone all day."

"What should I tell Sophie when she asks?"

"Tell her I'm running errands for the king." Howl went to the door, turned it black down and stepped out into the fog.

Michael and Sophie arrived at Howl's castle at the same time. "Hello Michael."

"Sophie. Have you been shopping all morning?"

"Pretty much. Are you hungry?" Michael shook his head.

"Thank you, Martha already fed me." Sophie let them in. She set her basket down.

"Howl?"

Calcifer looked around at Sophie lazily. "Howl went out. He's running errands for the king and could be gone all day."

"He went out again?" Calcifer nodded. "I wish he could spend some time here once in a while." She began gathering food to cook breakfast. "It seems like he's gone all the time." Sophie was sure she saw Calcifer shrug.

"You know how Howl is," the fire demon hissed. "He doesn't like to be tied down. He always has to be doing something."

"He could at least have stayed until I came home. I might as well be living here by myself. I only see him as he rushes by on his way to the bath." She set her pan down on the hearth more forcefully than she meant to. Then, as she threw ingredients into the pan a thought struck her. She looked up at Calcifer. "Calcifer, when Howl left which door did he go out?"

"I told you, he's running errands for the king."

"I know you told me that. I just came from the direction of the palace and I didn't see Howl." She stared Calcifer down.

"He went to the palace. You must have just missed him. There are a lot of people between here and the palace."

"Calcifer…"

"Alright, but when Howl comes home I'll tell him you bewitched me. He went out the door black down."

"What could he have to do in Wales all day? I know he can't be visiting his family all day. They don't get along."

"He doesn't tell me what he's doing when he goes out."

"Then how did you know he was running errands for the king?" Calcifer didn't answer. "Howl told you to tell me that he was running errands so that I wouldn't think anything of his being gone." She stopped throwing things into the pan and grabbed her shawl from the back of the chair. "Michael watch the shop for a bit."

Michael looked up from his work bench. "Where are you going?"

"To run errands for the king." Sophie marched over to the door and turned it black down. She barely heard Calcifer yell for her to come back as she stepped out into the fog of Wales.

A/N: Sorry that it took so long to get this up. I was trying to tie up another story. This chapter is short, but I hope you enjoy it. Thanks for the reviews.


	3. Chapter 3

Hello everyone. I'm sorry it's taken so long to update. I felt bad because I had been neglecting my drawing. I'll try to be better about updating this and my other story. I don't own Howl's moving castle.

Living with Howl

Chapter 3

Sophie came through the fog into Wales. She closed the door and scanned the scenery. She shouldn't have come by herself. She and Howl had only been to Wales a couple of times and she still got turned around. She was about to give up and turn back when she spotted Megan's house. Neil was outside playing with one of his friends. They stopped and watched as Sophie approached. She waved and smiled awkwardly. "Excuse me…um…Neil, is it? Have you seen Howl?" Neil's friend nodded.

"He was here a little bit ago bugging Neil's mom then he went off with some woman. Don't know where he is now," the boy answered. Sophie felt her stomach clench. Went off with some woman?

"Did you happen to see which way they went?" She choked out. Neil pointed.

"She lives somewhere that way. That's the way they went. I'm not sure which house. I think it's blue."

"Thank you," Sophie said as she moved off in the direction. She was going to kill Howl. She knew it had been stupid to trust him. Her eyes filled with tears. Maybe Lettie would let her stay at her and Ben's house. She wiped at her eyes and scanned the block looking for a blue house. There were five. Sophie stamped her foot. She should just go back, pack her things, and forget she ever met Howl. It wasn't like she knew him that well. The thought of leaving him tore at her heart. She stood half-turned toward the door back to the castle, unsure of what she should do now. From one of the blue houses she heard his voice. Quickly she dove into a bush and watched as the door opened and Howl stepped out onto the porch. A petite woman with short spikey hair followed him out. He turned to her and smiled.

"Thank you for agreeing to see me today," he said as he kissed her hand. She giggled.

"It's always a pleasure Howl." She wrapped her arms around him and whispered in his ear. Sophie's anger rose until she was shaking. She shot out of the bushes like a frightened cat and ran back to the door, her mind made up. She would send a message to Lettie as soon as she got home.

Howl turned, startled, and saw just the tail end of Sophie's dress as she disappeared around the corner. "Sophie?"

"What was that?" the girl asked.

"I'd better go." Howl waved then walked back to the castle. He took a deep breath before turning the handle and entering the castle. A slight buzzing sound told him to duck moments before a saucer shattered above his head.

"How could you?!" Sophie shouted at him. He put on his most innocent expression.

"What?" She advanced on him and poked him in the chest.

"Don't you what me! I thought I could trust you!" Sophie threw up her hands and stormed back to her bed to finish packing. As soon as she had hit the door she had sent a message to Lettie with Michael telling Lettie that she would be there by nightfall. Howl glared at Calcifer.

"Oh Calcifer," he said casually, "you didn't happen to tell Sophie where I was going did you?" Calcifer shrank back and reached out for a log, avoiding Howl's gaze. "Calcifer…" Howl reached out and plucked the log away from the fire demon.

"Hey," Calcifer hissed. "I need that. I'm going to go out."

"If you told Sophie where I went, good riddance to you."

"She tricked me into telling her. What's the big deal about you going to Wales anyway."

"Sophie saw something that she misconstrued. Why couldn't you just stick to our story?"

"Have you ever seen her when she gets determined? It's frightening." Sophie stalked out holding her bags. She lifted her chin and walked past Howl. He grabbed her arm.

"Sophie please. Let me explain."

"Oh so you know why I'm upset now?"

"Sophie, it wasn't what it looked like!" She wrenched her arm out of Howl's grasp and made it to the door.

"Goodbye Howl. I never want to see you again." She slammed the door behind her. Howl sank down into the chair next to the fire.

"What happened?" Calcifer asked.

"I have to make this right again Calcifer. If I could get her to go to Wales with me, to meet Myra, she would understand." Howl fell into deep thought.

"Just do me a favor and don't fill the house with green slime. I don't think I could take it again." Howl's head snapped up to glare at Calcifer again.

"You're going to help me get her back."

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By the time Sophie reached Lettie's house her face was streaked with tears and her eyes were red. Lettie opened the door and embraced her sister. "Oh Sophie, tell me all about what happened."

A/N: Another short chapter. Enjoy.


	4. Chapter 4

Disc: I don't own Howl's Moving Castle.

Living With Howl: Chapter 4

Sophie took several deep breaths, determined not to start crying again. Lettie looked at her sister in concern. "Sophie, what happened? What did he do?" Lettie threw her hands up in the air. "I knew that man was trouble! I tried to warn you, Sophie, now look at you!" Sophie looked up at her sister.

"Lettie, he…" She couldn't contain herself. For the 10th time since she arrived at Lettie's house Sophie burst into tears. Lettie kneeled next to Sophie and patted her back.

"Not to worry Sophie. You don't need him. There are plenty of other fish in the sea. Lettie's husband Ben Sulivan laid a hand on Sophie's shoulder.

"Sophie, I'm sure there's an explanation. You should talk to Howl. He may be a lot of things, but I-"

"Oh, Ben, she doesn't need to talk to Howl. She needs to stay away from him. For her sanity's sake. He's an awful man, and I've always thought so. The way the two of you carry on I'm surprised you lasted this long." Lettie continued to rant. Sophie stood up.

"If you don't mind, I think I'll just go to bed." Sophie stalked past Lettie and Ben, still arguing about Howl and entered the guest room. Sophie threw herself down on the bed and began to sob. Before she could control herself rage had taken over and she was shrieking. She was mad at Howl for sneaking around behind her back and mad at herself for thinking that he had magically changed into a decent man. She was stopped by a knock on the door.

"Sophie?" Lettie's voice was filled with concern. "Are you alright? Can I get you anything?" Sophie wiped her eyes and shook her head.

"No, thank you. I'll be alright. I'm just going to get some sleep."

"Alright, let me know if you need anything." Sophie heard Lettie make her way back down the hall. Sophie swallowed back the rest of her tears and set her jaw. She refused to waste any more tears on Howl. Lettie was right, there were other fish in the sea and Sophie was not going to find them while she was wasting time on Howl.

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Calcifer's eyes narrowed in confusion. "How am I going to help you get out of whatever mess you've created?" He eyed the log which was still being held out of his reach by Howl. Howl continued to stare down at the hearth.

"I haven't figured that out yet, but this is all your fault." He drummed his fingers on the log.

"My fault?" Calcifer hissed. "I didn't tell you to go gallivanting off to Wales to do…whatever it was you were doing to get Sophie so upset." Howl stood suddenly knocking his chair backward.

"You were the one who told Sophie exactly where to find me when I specifically told you not to."

"Maybe if you'd told me why I wasn't supposed to tell her, I would have had an easier time sticking to that ridiculous story you made up." Howl growled softly and Calcifer held up his hands. "Alright, I'll help you get Sophie back. Can I please have that log?" Howl turned from the fire tossing the log over his shoulder.

"I have to get her to go to Wales to talk to Myra. That's the only way to sort this out, but…she won't go if I just ask her to go. She's probably not even speaking to me." He paced back in forth in front Calcifer deep in thought. "But, she likes you and Michael…" his eyes lit up and he spun around. "That might just get her there."

"I don't know if I like where this is going," Calcifer said warily.

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"Sophie!" Lettie's voice drifted up the stairs. "I've made breakfast!" Sophie groaned and looked over at the clock. It was a little past noon. Gasping Sophie jumped out of bed and rushed downstairs.

"Lettie I'm sorry. I had no idea it was so late. You shouldn't have let me sleep so long."

Lettie held up her hands. "Sophie, it's okay. I don't mind letting you sleep. I knew you were upset and I figured rest would help." She led Sophie toward the dining room and sat her down. "Go ahead and eat. Then we can figure out what we're going to do with the rest of our day." Sophie picked at the food Lettie set in front of her. Although she was determined not to cry over Howl anymore, she couldn't help but feel regret that she had lost what could have been a good thing.

The door to Ben's study opened and he came out followed by a tall brunette who, by any woman's standard, would be considered gorgeous. "You've come a long way," Ben was telling him.

"I've been practicing Mister Sulliman."

"I've told you, call me Ben." The boy nodded and looked up, catching Sophie's eyes. He flashed her a perfect smile. Sophie blushed and looked down. "Sophie," Ben said, "have you met Ethan?" She shook her head and looked back up. "He's my apprentice. Ethan, this is Sophie. She is Lettie's sister."

Ethan came over to stand in front of her. "It's a pleasure to meet you," he said softly. She forced herself to look up into his bright green eyes.

"You too." She smiled softly. Well if she was going to move on she had to learn to be comfortable around amazing looking men.

"Ben, I should be going." Ben nodded. "It was nice meeting you Sophie."

"You too," she nearly whispered. Ben showed Ethan out and Sophie worked on slowing her breathing. She heard the front door shut followed by a frantic banging on the door. Ben opened it back up and Michael's voice drifted back to where Sophie was.

"I need to see Sophie now. It's an emergency," he shouted. Ben led him back to the dining room. Sophie stood.

"Michael, what's wrong?" she asked. Immediately her thoughts went to Howl. Something terrible must have happened to him.

"It's Calcifer. There's something wrong with him. He's asking for you." Sophie gathered her shawl.

"Lettie, our plans will have to wait. I may have given up Howl, but Michael and Calcifer still need me." She kissed her sister's cheek. "I'll be back later." She rushed out with Michael and down to the shop. Calcifer was drooping and had gotten very small.

"Sophie," he choked without looking up. "You came." He coughed.

"Calcifer what happened?"

"I'm not sure Sophie. This has never happened to me before." Inwardly Calcifer rolled his eyes. _Only Howl truly knows what's wrong with me._ "Howl could help me, but he's not here. Please Sophie, go get Howl. I don't want to die like this."

Sophie hesitated. "Michael could go get Howl. I could stay here with you." Calcifer shook his head.

"Michael needs to stay here. He knows how to help me for now. Please Sophie…"

"Fine, where is he?"

"In Wales."

_Of course he is, _Sophie thought angrily. "I'll go get him but I'm not sticking around while he's here. I just don't think I can take it." Sophie rushed to the door and turned it black down before stepping out onto the familiar street. She made her way back to the house where she found Howl with that woman and, taking a deep breath, she knocked on the door. The beautiful woman answered.

"Can I help you?" she asked Sophie sweetly. Sophie felt blood pounding in her temples, but she tamed her anger enough to find her voice.

"I need to speak to Howl." The woman turned and called for Howl. He came to the door.

"Sophie? What's going on?"

"Calcifer is sick or something and he needs your help." Message delivered, Sophie turned to head back for the street. She was stopped when a hand fell softly on her shoulder. She turned and saw the woman looking at her cautiously.

"Sophie," she said softly. "Can we please talk?" Sophie fought against the urge to hit the woman. Something in her eyes put Sophie at ease. She nodded and stepped into the house past Howl, who was stepping out.

"I'll go see about Calcifer," he told her. "Will I see you later?"

"Not likely," she practically hissed. "Good luck with Calcifer." Sophie slammed the door in Howl's face and followed the woman into the living room. She invited Sophie to sit down then took the seat across from Sophie.

She looked up into Sophie's eyes. "My name is Myra," she started, "and this definitely isn't what it looks like."

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Calcifer looked up as Howl came in. "Did it work?" he asked Howl.

"I think so. She's in Wales talking to Myra. I just hope that Myra can convince her that nothing's going on."

"It better work. I felt like an idiot trying to make up some mysterious fire demon illness."

"Thank you Calcifer. Thank you Michael."

Michael looked up from his workbench. "No problem. I hope it works. I miss Sophie."

Howl looked down. "Me too," he said sadly.

A/N: I'm sorry it took me so long to update. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I'll try not to take so long with the next one. Thank you for reading and reviewing my story.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: AAhh! Sorry it took so long. I was updating my other stories then I got into watching Paradise Kiss (a very addictive series). This chapter will have lemons in it.

Disc: I don't own Howl's moving castle.

Living With Howl

Chapter 5

Sophie's jaw dropped as stared at the woman across from her. The woman smiled apologetically. "I'm very sorry to have made you worry about Howell. I know what it must have looked like."

"You're his sister? But, he never mentioned you."

"It doesn't surprise me. Howell is not very close to his family any more since he moved away from Wales. He's closer to Megan than he is to me. We had a bit of a falling out when he left."

"I suppose that makes sense. I didn't find out about Megan until I begged Howl to bring me here one day. But, he's here talking to you now. So you must have made up," Sophie observed. Myra smiled.

"Howell needed something that I have. He came around the other day apologizing and…well he's my brother. We may have had a fight, but I still love him. I found that when I saw him again, I couldn't stay angry with him. I've always felt very protective of Howell and he came here so helplessly lost. I had to help him."

Sophie laughed a little. "Howl being hopelessly lost?"

"There are some matters that not even Howell feels confident about," Myra answered.

"What did you fight about when he left?"

"His choice of career. I told him he was being foolish following that fool uncle of ours. I felt like he was abandoning us."

"Hmm… So what is it?"

Myra looked up at Sophie. "What is what?"

"The thing that you have that Howl wants?"

"I can't tell you that. Howell will have to tell you about that." Sophie stood. "Are you going?" Myra asked, also standing.

"I should get back to Howl. We have a lot to talk about."

"It was very good meeting you Sophie."

"You too. I'm glad that Howl's not cheating on me with you." Myra laughed as she walked Sophie back to the door.

"Good luck, Sophie. And do give Howell a chance. I've never seen him try so hard with a woman before. I can tell he really cares about you." Sophie said goodbye and made her way back down the road to the house. She took a deep breath and entered.

"Sophie!" Michael shouted. Sophie shot an annoyed glance Calcifer's direction.

"How's your disease? I hope Howl managed to fix it."

"Oh, erm…I'm feeling much better," Califer answered shrinking down a bit. Sophie looked around.

"Where's Howl?" She asked.

"In the bathroom using up all of the hot water, " Calcifer grumped. The door opened and steam poured out.

"What do you care, Calcifer? You never use the water anyway," Howl said lazily. He looked up and saw Sophie standing there. His breath caught a little. "Sophie." He quickly composed his face hoping that Sophie hadn't seen the relief that flooded it. "How did your talk with Myra go?" he asked casually. Sophie looked at him for a long time.

"Oh Howl. Why didn't you just tell me that she was your sister? Why did we have to go through all of that?"

Howl smirked. "Because, Ms. Nose, I didn't want you sticking your nose into it and ruining everything."

"Hmf!" Sophie crossed her arms over her chest and turned away from Howl. She tensed when she felt his arms wind around her waist.

"Sophie, I promise you there's a good explanation; I just can't give it to you yet. I'm not ready. I beg your patience." Sophie gasped and closed her eyes as he brushed his lips over her neck.

"It better be a good explanation," she breathed.

"Oh, it's very good." She tensed as his hands drifted lower.

"Howl…" She whimpered slightly as she felt him move away. She opened her eyes and saw that Howl was grabbing his jacket. "Are you going somewhere?"

"Mmm…unfortunately I have some Royal Wizard business to take care of and I just can't put it off any longer." He kissed Sophie's cheek. "I'll do my best to be back soon." He passed her and was out the door before she could speak.

"How can he keep saying he loves me if he's just going to leave me all the time?" Sophie asked no one in particular.

"Don't be angry with Howl," Michael said. "In this case he can't help it. The king summoned him two weeks ago and he's been putting it off until now." Michael turned back to the book he was currently learning a spell out of. "I wonder if I'm ever going to be as powerful as Howl. These spells he keeps giving me…they're really complicated."

Sophie pulled her thoughts away from Howl and turned to Michael. "You're doing so well. You've come a long way since I first met you."

"Thanks. I'm really trying. Are you going to open the shop today?"

"I suppose I'd better. At least for a little bit." Sophie left Michael to his spell and went out into the field to pick flowers. Her thoughts drifted back to Howl. She was relieved to find that he wasn't being unfaithful, but she wished he didn't seem so disinterested in her. She sighed. Maybe if she let her guard down a little more… maybe she was being distant with him, and he was just reciprocating. Sophie shook her head. If he really loved her, she shouldn't have to put herself out there just to get his attention. Maybe it was time to find somebody who would appreciate her for who she was. Sophie finished gathering her flowers and went back to the shop.

Sophie opened the shop and did her best handing out flowers and smiling at all the customers, but her eyes kept drifting over to the clock and her thoughts kept drifting back to Howl. As she and Michael finished with the last of the customers and locked up Sophie growled softly. "What's up Sophie?" Michael asked her.

"I'm just wondering where Howl is."

Michael shrugged. "I imagine the king has his running all over. He'll be back soon." Michael grabbed his bag. "If it's okay, I'm going to go visit Martha."

"Go on. I think I'm going to go to bed. I'm not feeling very well."

"Maybe I should stay…"

"No, really Michael I'll be fine. Say hello to Martha for me."

Michael eyed her dubiously. "I will. I hope you feel better." Sophie smiled and ushered Michael out the door. She shut it behind her and fell back against the door.

"Howl really is trying, Sophie," Calcifer's voice crackled. "I've never seen him try this hard with a woman before." Sophie walked back past Calcifer.

"That's comforting. Goodnight Calcifer. I'll see you in the morning." She went into her room and shut the door. She put on her night shirt and snuggled down into her covers, hoping that sleep would come through. An hour of tossing and turning later, Sophie fell into a restless sleep plagued by dreams of Howl.

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Howl trudged wearily into the house and sat down in front of the hearth. "How was it?" Calcifer whispered.

"I remember why I put it off for so long." Howl leaned back in the chair and shut his eyes. "Where has Sophie gotten off to?"

"She went to bed a while ago," Calcifer answered. "She seemed upset."

"Upset?" Howl stood and made his way to the room where Sophie slept. He quietly opened the and peered in. Sophie was asleep. Her hands were balled into fists and her eyes were shut very tightly. Howl turned to leave when she whispered his name. He turned back to look at her more closely. She did look upset. After another moments thought Howl came the rest of the way into the room and shut the door. Carefully he slid into bed next to Sophie and wrapped his arms around her. She would probably hit him, but he hated to see her so upset.

Sophie felt the bed shift as somebody climbed in next to her. She gasped and rolled over. "Howl? What are you doing in here?"

Howl answered her with a soft kiss. "I'm sorry I upset you…" He kissed her neck softly.

"Mmmm…I just wish you weren't gone so much." She tilted her head. A small voice in her head told her that she should push him away, tell him to go up to his own room. As his lips reached her collar bone she told it to shut up.

"I didn't want to go. I have plenty of things to do here, but I put it off for as long as I could. I ran out of excuses to stay home." He slid his hand over her hip and caressed her thigh. Wrapping his hand around her leg, he hitched her leg over his hip. Sophie moaned softly and moved so that she was pressed very firmly against Howl. He moved his mouth back up to Sophie's lips and ran his hand underneath Sophie's nightgown. "Tell me what I can do to get you to forgive me."

"It's going to take more than just a few great kisses to clear yourself," she whispered against his lips. She gasped when he moved so that he was on top of her.

"I can handle that. Tell me what you want." _You! I want you Howl!_ Her brain screamed at her.

"Howl…I don't know if we should…" Howl sighed and moved to get off of her but her hands clamped around his waist, holding him there. He looked down at her quizzically. "I just mean…" she blushed, "I've never done this before and I don't know if I'm…ready."

He kissed her again. "Done what, exactly?"

Sophie blushed more deeply and cleared her throat. "Sex," she whispered. Before he could stop himself Howl laughed out loud. Sophie glared up at him. "If you're just going to laugh at me you can go to your own room." She squirmed, trying to shake him off. He calmed himself.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to laugh. Your shyness is endearing. If you trust me, I promise I'll be gentle."

"I do trust you," Sophie answered. Howl smiled and pulled Sophie's nightshirt over her head. "Howl."

"I promise…If you want to stop just tell me. We don't have to do this." Sophie nodded. Howl sat up so that he could pull his shirt over his head. Sophie licked her lips as she took in Howl's well sculpted body.

"Wow…" Howl chuckled

"You're beautiful, Sophie." He lowered his lips down to her neck once more and began working his hands over her body. She arched into his soft caress. She gasped when he brushed his fingers over her sensitive nipples. "Is this okay?" Sophie nodded. He moved his hands lower and where his hands had been, his mouth followed. Sophie tangled her fingers into his hair.

"Howl," she whispered. She cried out as his fingers found her center. Softly he slid a finger into her, exploring her. "Howl, more please." He kissed her stomach before moving so that he could get the rest of his clothing off.

"Are you sure you want this?"

"Please…"

"This will hurt a bit, but I'll do what I can to make it as little as possible." She nodded.

"I trust you." She took a deep breath as he positioned himself over her. Gently he thrust into her. She cried out softly and shut her eyes. A tear slid down her face.

"Are you alright?" Sophie nodded again. Howl kissed her and pulled out. A small gasp escaped her as he thrust back into her, burying himself deeply inside her. He started a slow pace and Sophie was carried away on a wave of pleasure. He increased his pace and Sophie began to shudder as he pushed her closer and closer to the edge. Just when she felt like she couldn't take much more the world shattered around her into a million sparkling lights. She heard Howl cry out as he finally gave up control and followed her over. He collapsed on top of her panting. "Sophie…wow…" She stroked his hair sleepily.

"That was amazing Howl." He kissed her softly.

"There's something I've been meaning to ask you…" he started. He was greeted by her soft steady breathing. He looked down and found that she had fallen asleep. He smiled. "But I guess it can wait until later." He kissed her again and moved so that he was laying beside her. "Goodnight, Sophie."

A/N: There it is! I hope you enjoyed. It took me a while to write this…cause writing this kind of stuff takes me a while. Thanks for reading. I'll have more soon.


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